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´╗┐Alleyway Fuzzy

Be average worker taking a smoke break with your co-worker in the alleyway of your building, noticing a small herd of Ferals scavenging for something to eat in the warm weather. Babbles of 'hugs and wub' irk you a little, but they're not shitting all over you and being infuriating little a-holes, so live and let live.

"Millions of dollars of genetic engineering and biology to make THESE." your co-worker snarks, casually tossing a cigarette onto one of the scrounging fluffies and setting it ablaze. The stupider ones attempt to hug her better, catching ablaze as well and dying in a wailing group of flaming balls of hair. The few smarter ones kept their distance, either whimpering softly or shaking their heads at the idiocy their brethren displayed.

"Jesus man, they weren't bothering anyone." you remark, watching the families of the burned fluffies sob and mourn over their deceased relatives. Some of them were hugging the ash covered corpses, trying to bring them back in spite of their lack of movement. Others just scrounged for food as best they could, one Pegasus in particular fighting a rat for a slice of pizza.

"They're disease ridden freaks, man-barely even animals. Besides, boss wouldn't want these things rummaging around in the dumpsters making a mess, I'm doing him a favor." he answers, two fluffies getting into fisticuffs-one of them an abandoned pet Unicorn and the other a feral Earthy twice her size. The former's marshmallow like hoof bounces ineffectively off of the feral, who responds with a much sturdier blow to the face that nearly caves it in as she screams.

"Boss also wouldn't appreciate you drawing attention or setting things on fire, y'know." you quip, motioning over to a mother and daughter who had watched your friend light up a bunch of fluffies like kindling. The little girl was sobbing as the mother just gave a look that screamed 'You disgust me' as she pulled her daughter away from the carnage.

"Yeah well, whatever..." your co-worker snorts, mumbling 'blow me you bed hopping c*$t' at the mother giving him the stink eye. Your gaze falls on some of the ferals, one of the mares coddling her babies as something seems to move around behind her. She's suddenly yanked back into the alleyway with a sudden screech, sickening crunching and cracking noises ringing out as the remaining ferals flee. Cries of 'White Munstah!' and 'Wun 'way! It am back!' pealed around you as you investigated.

You find what looks like a white fluffy pony with blue eyes, while also covered in chunks of fluff and blood from the mother he mercilessly ground into dust. You shudder briefly at the sight of the gore as the fluffy turns up to look at you quietly. For a feral, he was remarkably well groomed-short, perfectly trimmed fluff though with no semblance of a mane or much 'headfluff', his tail more a fuzzy pipe cleaner than the long, flowing tail of the mainstream breed.

Was he some kind of mutant?

"Hey there...weird, little Fluffy..." you say, waving to the silent sadist. He...she...it(?) calmly replies "Am Fuzzy Unit, Sir. Apologies for confusion. Designated Sewial Number am 1765."

"A Fuzzy Pony? I thought those things went extinct ages ago!" your co-worker remarks in surprise, walking over and looking down at the stoic creature "I guess someone's been peddling out some more of you guys-pretty good for bootleg versions!"

"Thenk you."

You look him over, pondering something to yourself-he was quiet, clean, polite, and intelligent far beyond normal Fluffy Standards. And your niece's birthday had been coming up; You remember she was practically begging for these little things, though you also remember that her mother declined due to them mostly being disease ridden chunks of genetically engineered fluff.

"Hey, uh...1765, was it? I know of a nice place full of food-I mean nummehs, and toysies and a loving mummah and daddeh an'-"

"Yu is meaning a home, siw?" the Fuzzy replied, showing the slightest hint of emotion as he (you just decided to call him a he) seemed to inquire why you were on your knees and baby-talking to him. Your co-worker was thinking the same thing, holding back the urge to record you alongside a few passerbys whispering at the weird man who was crouching in a filthy alleyway.

A small part of you thought even the fluffies who stuck around to watch this unfold thought you were crazy.

Standing back up and hastily brushing off the dirt off your pants, you cut right to the chase. “You wanna have a home? I got a niece whose always wanted one of you guys.”

He pondered this for about half a minute before replying with a simple ‘Okey’.

Well, that was easy.

*
(Epilogue)
You’re relaxing in your home, watching a few episodes of your favorite show via ‘Netlfix and Chill’ (yes I am making this outdated joke) when you hear your phone ring. Reaching over and grabbing it, you briefly glanced at the Caller ID and saw it was your sister.

Hell, you hadn’t talked to her in a week or two since you had donated ‘Snowball’ (what your niece wittily called the pure white ‘Fuzzy’ Pony) to her and her family. You click the green pickup button and say a quick but warm “Hey sis, what’s up?”

“Bro, what the hell did you give us?!” she hollered back distressed, crying ringing out in the background from two sources; One from your niece and another coming from babbling baby talk compounded with animalistic squeals.

“N-Nuuuuu! Nu huw-SCREEEEE!”

“Snowball’s gone completely berserk; He just attacked and started mutilating a feral who walked up to him and Susan wanting to play!” she continued screaming, you making out the sound of ‘Fwuffy Pony-Must ewiminate vermin!’ and the sound of your brother in law trying in vain to calm down your hysterical niece.

Oh fuck.

Comments


- Reply
PURPLEWOLF2005: MAKE THIS A BOOK AND PUBLISH IT TAKE MY MURDER MON-oh wait i dont have money and i dont have a job

- Reply
Veej: Cool - a blast from the past. I had forgotten about the murderous Fuzzy Ponies.

- Reply
hotrod: Ungrateful siblings man. You have the perfect fluffy protection system.
- Reply
NottooFluf2: Shut up and take that story to a publisher... oh I forgot, it is too short for a publisher. Great work anyways.