author:missionfrombog casual-fluffies casual_fluffies execution flufficide laboratory_fluffies safe the_amazing_blackjack


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MissionFromBog: Alicorn Acceptance Revisited

Introduction: Following updates to the software, we wished to re-investigate the methods of alicorn acceptance explored in the source material.

Materials and Methods: Once again, fluffies were obtained from Spacebar Farms, under their bizarre random selection policy. We utilized a total of three unicorn and pegasus mares, prepared as in the source: Bravo was blinded, Foxtrot had her front legs amputated, and Yankee was pillowed.

Stud service was provided by lab mascot The Amazing Blackjack, Alicorn Rapist Extraordinaire*. Fluffies were fed standard kibble throughout. On birth of each litter, all non-alicorns were terminated to prevent milk supply issues and the mare re-bred if necessary. In our lab, the train has no brakes.

Results: Mixed. Bravo (left) was unable to detect her "munstah babbeh" and successfully reared an alicorn weanling who was sold on the open market. Foxtrot (right) and Yankee were both apparently able to prevent their foals from nursing, even when placed in pens too small to allow movement and even with all legs removed. Consequently, we recommend adopting blinding as a standard procedure for mares designated for alicorn production.

Following the end of the experiment, all surplus fluffies were terminated with flufficide, while lab staff cracked brewskis and watched over the monitor. Fucking gold.

*- OK, not really. But even though the game doesn't support it yet, in my mind Blackjack's career will always continue.
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CasualDev: @MissionFromBog: maybe in the next 'software update', you'll be able to take blackjack with you...
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MissionFromBog: @CasualDev: One can hope! He deserves to live on.
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Vanguard: @CasualDev: Blackjack Lives!