Let's_Make_a_Deal author:MuffinsSenpai feral punishment safe shit smarty tears text


Let's Make a Deal

Part 1

After I had overcome the shock of the inheritance, I began to go over what had happened in my head.

My aunt had recently died of cancer, and in her last moments decided to leave her entire estate to me. She wasn't incredibly wealthy, but she owned a large property in Connecticut, a small chain of restaurants througout the state, and a sizeable savings account, all of which was now left to me. This was a huge shock to the entire family, not that I would have known. I wasn't close to my mother's side of my extended family whatsoever.

I only learned what had happened after speaking to my mother and getting ready to make the trip to claim what was left to me. It turns out I was my aunt's one last "fuck you" to her drunken boyfriend. She worried that he would squander her limited fortune on booze and hookers, so on her deathbed, with witnesses galore, she changed her will and named me, her nephew she'd spoken to maybe twice in her life, as her primary and only beneficiary.

I didn't have much going on in my life, and had hit a bit of a rut. I was excited for the change and the chance of anything new.

I gathered up my things, quit my dead end job, and flew to connecticut. I knew this was going to be a huge shift in my life, but I had no idea the impact my new home would have on me.

My new home was almost instantly comfortable. One afternoon of clearing the layer of dust that had built up in my aunt's absense is all it took for it to feel like home. Since I had only lived in a one bedroom apartment prior to moving, I was able to travel very light. This turned out to be a good thing.

The house was a 5000 sq ft colonial home smack in the middle of many acres. Most of it was wooded, but the area surrounding the building had been cleared out several hundred feet to make way for garden space and two medium sized barns. The interior was fully furnished with modern appliances and sensible furniture. It was overwhelming at first, but once the wave of newness passed in the first week, it was replaced with a slightly bored, cautious optimism.

Things were about to get a little more interesting though. While trying out some lawn care equipment I found in one of the barns, I noticed my first fluffies in the area.
In the first weeks, I would only notice flashes of brightly-colored activity in the bushes and trees that surround the property on all sides. Soon, on still days, I would be smacked in the face with their signature scent in the morning as I step onto the porch to enjoy my coffee. Great, Fluffies were shitting all over my property.

Honestly I didn't really care. We had fluffies in Ohio, but it was usually taken care of by pest control paid for by the city. I never had to interact with any but the occasional pet fluff a friend might bring over. I was aware that there would most likely not be any pest control coming to take care of them, seeing as how I'm miles from my nearest neighbors, and covering that kind of ground sounds wasteful and expensive. Black bears and other smaller predators are not uncommon in these parts. While black bears don't tend to be large enough to seriously threaten a full grown human, I'm willing to bet they can survive well on a diet of loud, easy-to-spot fluffies.

It was the one month anniversary of my move that they would first approach me.

I had just sat down on my back porch to enjoy my morning coffee when I felt a tug at my pant leg. I looked down and saw a dark green fluffy looking me right in the eye.

"Am dah munsta comin' back?" it says to me pitifully

"What." I reply, shocked I didn't kick it in surprise.

"Is the munsta gone? Fwuffy been watching 'ou fow many bwight times now. Nu see munsta, only mistah." It says, still pitiful, but he's speaking a little more confidently now.

"Well, I've only been here for a short time, but I haven't seen any monsters. What sort of monster are you talking about? Can you tell me about it?" I'm really only asking to see if there's been any predator activity around here I should know about. I can imagine that damn near anything that isn't handing out food is a monster to these things.

The green fluffy stares out at the treeline for a good five seconds before continuing.

"Munsta was hooman munsta. Munstah hooman come to twee home aftah dawk time stawted sometimes. He gave foweva sweepies to aww hewds babehs. Even tummeh babehs!"

An angry human going into the woods at night, killing baby fluffies, and causing miscarriages? I think I know who their monster is, but I want to be sure. That said, there have only been two people living here for many years, and only one of them was a "he."

"Did the human monster have a moustache?" I ask the fluffy.

"Wut a moostash?" it responds.

I roll my eyes. That's right, these things are pretty much retarded.

"Did he have a line of hair right above his mouth?" I ask, frustrated, but only with myself. I put my finger across my face to give the little guy a better idea of what I mean.

The feral fluffy rapidly shakes its head up and down Any harder and it might have actually injured itself.

"Yes! It was dawk, but am gud fwuffie, and wemembew see.ing moostash on the munstah!" It shouts in reply.

I laugh softly to myself as I finalize my suspicions on who the monster is. My aunts POS boyfriend was getting hammered and wailing on these guys in the middle of the night. I had him pegged as some sort of asshole when I first saw that greasy lip warmer at the lawyers office. I'm no hugboxer, but wanton violence on random fluffy babies isn't exactly a respectable act.

As I congratulated myself in my head for solving the mystery, I bend down and grab the fluffy, planning to tell him that he doesn't have to worry about the monster anymore, but as my fingers wrap around him he freaks out, wiggling from my grip and running to the trees on the far end of the yard, exactly where he was focusing earlier.

At this point I decided this was probably a good opportunity to go see what I'm dealing with as far as infestations go. I've seen what happens to areas that get too saturated with fluffies, and while I may not really be in a position to do anything about it, knowledge is power.

I follow the trail of shit the green fluffy was kind enough to leave behind him during his escape. It leads me to a set of bushes just outside the treeline with activity underneath. As I push the bushes to the side to get a better look, I come face to face with 3 furries.

One is the green furry from before, and he is being held down on the ground by a large red stallion with a blue mane who, even when he notices me, doesn't take his hooves off of the green one's chest. The green fluffy doesn't seem to struggle at all, though he looks to be in tremendous pain.

"Exactly what is going on here? Get off of him now!" I yell, perfectly aware of the horrible acts fluffies commit upon one another regularly, and not wanting to bare witness to any of it on my property.

The larger stallion doesn't react to my demands at all, except to look over at the third fluffy standing off to the side.

The third fluffy addresses me directly, "Dis am bad fwuffy! Bad gweeny fwuffy wed bad human munsta back to hewd. Nao fwuffy gets sowwy hoofies an' sowwy poopies!" He maintains eye contact with me the entire time he says this. He is smaller than the larger red stallion, but not as small as "Greeny Fluffy." He is all red, with some black highlights around his eyes and mouth, which gives his stare just a little more intensity that you might expect from a fluffy. I get the feeling he is some kind of leader among them. The confidence with which he told me the green one's sentence seems to come from a place of authority. Whatever authority a fluffy can have, anyway.

"Oh, I see," I respond to him, feeling myself have to expend effort to maintain his intense gaze, "Did he tell you what we talked about?"

"Gweeny said 'ou awen't munsta an' that dah munsta am gone." The large stallion replies, to the apparent annoyance of the "leader."

"So, why are you punishing him, then?" I ask the apparent enforcer.

"Cobawt said that hooman stiww nu can be twusted, an' that Gweeny shouwd hab known bettah." the enforcer replies with no inflection whatsoever. Well, he's not wrong. Fluffy torture is a surprisingly common hobby, and he's correct to avoid human contact. I also note that the all red fluffy is named Cobalt. At least they got Greeny right.

"That's a very good rule," I say, looking Cobalt in the eyes again. "But, you don't need to worry about that with me."

"Weawwy?" Greeny squeaks out from under the enforcer's hoofs, which are now putting noticably less pressure on the poor green fluffy's chest.

"Yes, really. I didn't plan on doing anything about you guys, just wanted to see how many of you there are, and decide what that might mean for my new life here."

They all pep up at this news. The enforcer steps back off of Greeny, who stands up slowly. Cobalt doesn't show too much change, but you see his chest sink in a bit, and his stance shrink. Was he trying to intimidate me and I didn't notice? While I applaud their rule about not trusting humans right off, I'm somewhat disappointed by the fact that in this short time I seemed to have gained their trust.

I continue, "That said, I'm not going to be cool anymore if I see you guys abusing one another like this on my property. I have no problem with you defending yourselves. That's your right as living beings, but there will be need for sorry hoofies or poopies, sorry or any other kind, in or around my yard." I really just don't want to see it, or deal with cleanup and pests. "Did you come up with the 'not trusting humans' rule?"

"Yes." responds Cobalt, coldly.

"Then I assume you know exactly what some humans do to fluffies?"

"Yes." he says again.

"So you know what I can do if I catch any fluffy violence or poopies on my property again."


"That's good!" I say with a loud friendly smile, meant to bring the tone back down. I can see Cobalt had started to shake when I asked him if he know what humans did to fluffies. If this little guy hasn't been hurt by a human, I'm willing to bet that he's bore witness to it in the past. Poor guy. "If you and your herd understand then there will be no problems at all with you guys hanging out around here, and we can be friendly with one another."

"Hooman am fwend?" he manages to croak out, feeling the change in mood swing back to a safer place.

"I wouldn't exactly say I'm your friend, but as long as you follow my rules we'll get along. Hell, I'll probably even bring you guys out some leftover food once in a while."

This throws the mood of the conversation into a vastly different climate. Cobalt is clearly deep in thought not sure what to say next, but Greeny is smiling through the arms of the enforcer, who is giving him a hug while tears stream down his face.

"Howdah am su sowwy! Gweeny bwoke dah wuwes an' fwuffy was onwy doin' what cobawt said" Holder, the enforcer, says to Greeny in a gentle tone. While fluffies can be incredibly vicious to one another, it's also embedded in their nature to forgive and forget. This is probably why hugs are such a big part of fluffy interaction.

"Now, Cobalt," I say, getting a little bit more serious, but not dropping my smile, "is this ok with you? It seems like you're in charge of this herd, if I'm not mistaken."

"Yes, cobawt am in chawge." He takes a long pause after this, weighing his options. Maybe I haven't won this one over yet. "Fwuffy think hewd can be otay' wiff dis. Fwuffy wiww got tawk to them nao."

"Would you mind if I come along with you? I'd like to know how many of you there are."

"That am otay'. It's weawwy faw, though" He says while nodding. I guess I do have his trust already.

Cobalt heads out into the forest. I stay behind him, letting him lead the way. After about 30 feet we arrive at a very large old tree that has uprooted itself slightly. In the considerable space between the exposed roots, sit many, many fluffies. By first glance, I'm able to see at least 20. All fully grown, with at least 5 pregnant mares huddled in the back. A large herd, but nowhere near the numbers I had seen in last years images of Cleveland.

My presence brings noticable discomfort to the herd. Larger ponies rise from their resting positions and form a line across the opening of the recess they live in, while behind them I see the pregnant mares struggle to get their feet on the ground. Only 2 of them are capable of actually standing up. The rest of the fluffies cower in the corner, peeking out from beneath their hooves at me, stressing over what may come next.

Before I can say anything, Cobalt climbs atop a small rock outside the entrance and begins to speak.

"Nu be afwaid of dis hooman! Cobawt has made deaw wiff him, an' we am safe. Dah munsta is gone!"

I don't remember making what I'd call a "deal" with this fluffy. In retrospect, I had mostly threatened him with a smile on my face, but I let him continue.

"Hooman says that as wong as hooman doesn't see any fwuffie biowence inside of dah hewd, ow poopies on his wand, hooman wiww not bothah us, an' maybeh gib us weftobews sometimes"

I could hear whispers throughout the herd at the mention of "weftobews."

The line of larger fluffies that had been guarding their home from me begins to break up, walking over to Cobalt and engaging in hushed conversation. Once they finish talking about whatever they were talking about, the group casts one last look at me, before going back under the tree to tend to the other fluffies. Cobalt approaches me, and I kneel down to make this easier for both of us.

"Hewd agwees an' has nu pwobwem wiff youw wuwes." That's good, I think to myself. He continues to ask, "Dah tuffies wan' to know if we can num youw gwass, we wewe nummin it befowe 'ou came hewe, buh we'be been afwaid to come back 'cos we thought 'ou wewe bad hooman. Tummeh babbehs nee' gud gwass, an' dah soon mummahs am aww habin' wowstes' tummy huwties"

"Yeah, that's fine. You guys can eat all the grass you want." Less mowing I have to do, that works out fine. "Can I ask you something Cobalt?"

"That's otay'" He says, smiling softly.

"I haven't met a lot of fluffies, but it was my understanding that in your herds, there's usually a fluffy in charge that refers to himself as 'smarty.' Yet you seem to be the boss and I haven't heard you use the word once. Why?" The question seems to strike him sharply.

"We had smawty once, buh smawty kept makin' us fite othah hewds. Dewe wewe wots of fowebah sweepies, many speshuw fwiends wewe wost. Aftah big battwe obah dis wand aww dah smawties wewe dead an' nu one wanted to fite anymowe. Su we made wuwes an' punishments. Fiwst thin' we did was make bein' smawty against dah wuwes." He finishes all this in one breath, as if it had been recited many times.

"That makes sense. Fighting and killing other fluffies all the time sounds like it isn't very fun." I say to him, nodding as I speak. "You mentioned punishments. Can you tell me what they are?"

"Suwe, fo' bweakin' nowmaw wuwe, 'ou get sowwy poopies, an' spend one dawk time in dah twees. Fo' bweakin' bad fwuffie wuwe, 'ou get sowwy poopies an' sowwy hoofies an' fwee dawk times in dah twees. Bad fwuffie punishments am fo' things that put dah hewd in dangew, wike weadin' humans back to othah fwuffies." Once again this sounds very recited.

"And that's it?" I ask, probably just out of curiousity at this point. This is all way outside the scope of anything to do with me.

"Dewe am one mowe punishment... buh it weawwy bad. Onwy fo' when fwuffie gibes anothah fwuffie bad speshuw huggies ow fowebah sweepies." This part sounds less recited. "fo' that, we banish dah fwuffy, an' if fwuffy doesn't weabe, we gib him... fowebah sweepies" He trails off at the end. Just a hint of shame escaping through his words. When I first met this guy I figured he was an asshole smarty that was going to be a problem. It turns out he really doesn't enjoy violence at all. It must be hard for him to go through with punishing his herd members.

"I understand." He takes this very solemnly, nodding once at my apparent approval of his methods. "It's about time for me to eat and get my day going. I'm going to go back home now. Please make sure your herd continues to obey the rules. And feel free to come eat as much of my grass as you want."

"Otay' fank 'ou mistah!" He shouts out, a little out of character for what I presume to know about him.

I stand up to leave, only to notice once again the leg of my pants is being pull on by a smallish green Fluffy.

"Can I help you Greeny?" I ask the pleading fluffy.

"Gweeny wanted to fank nice mistah hooman fo' sabin' it eawwiah. Cobawt an' Howdah am weawwy gud fwuffies, buh fwuffy was stiww afwaid of punishment huwties." he says through tear soaked fur.

"That's ok, but make sure you follow my rules to the letter, or you'll be getting punished again." I remind him. I know their attention span isn't so great, so I need to make sure these rules stick in their heads. I really want to avoid having to punish anyone myself. "Oh, and I'm not a big fan of being called 'Mr. Human, so why don't you all just call me Muffins?"

"Muffins? that sounds wike it am fwuffie name, buh otay' mistah muffins!" He calls out as I've already started heading away. I know it's a silly name for them to call me, but if word is going to travel that I'm out here "making deals" with fluffy herds, I'd rather not have it traced back to my real name.
Uploader MuffinsSenpai,
Tags author:MuffinsSenpai feral Let's_Make_a_Deal punishment safe shit smarty tears text
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- Reply
RevMe: I like this — looking forward to reading more. I always have a soft spot for stories about good herds/leaders.
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Fluffy_Angst: Very interesting! I like how this person seems neutral and balanced.

"Hey kid! Want a muffin?"

- Reply
MuffinsSenpai: Thanks for the positive feedback, guys. I hope to have part 2 up later this evening (EST)
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Anonymous1: This is great! Reminds me of another amazing story "Stories from a reasonable hugboxer" or something along those lines. keep up the amazing work!
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sweedev: very interesting, Somewhat reminds me of the Fluffy spring saga.
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NottooFluf2: Good, really good, the fluffy speach needa a little work, they sounded smarter, try making it more childish using more simple words, there is a section in the fluffy wiki about fluffspeach