ZaWarudo abuse author:ZaWarudo buwny_huwties death derping psychological_torture tagme torture wan_die

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10 Creative Ways to Kill a Fluffy

ZaWarudo's guide to the perfect fluffy genocide!


1. Molotov Cocktail
This method is a favorite of mine. Firstly, douse the fluffy's fluff with a flammable liquid such as kerosene, lighter fluid, or gasoline. Ignore its whining and cries of "nu smeww pwetty." Next, fill the fluffy's anus and/or vagina with the same fluid. This step is especially fun with soon-mummahs! Lastly, chuck a match at that fucker and watch it go! If done with a soon-mummah, beware of flying foal fireballs!

2. Crucifixion
Remember that one guy from that one book? Teach fluffies all about history by selecting a martyr! Construct a crucifix from some wooden planks and nails, then grab the nearest smarty and nail that little shit up. This beacon will act as a scarecrow and keep other shitrats at bay. Crown of thorns optional, but really fucking funny.

3. Christmas
Do you hate people who put up their fucking Christmas decorations in October like a bunch of idiots who don't celebrate Thanksgiving? With this trick, you'll be the first in the neighborhood to put up the tree! Grab a large number of foals (preferably still chirpy babbehs) and insert small lightbulbs into their anuses. String the lights up around the house and enjoy your new decoration! Got any leftover foals? Turn them into decorative ornaments for your tree!

4. Batting Practice
This one is for the athletically inclined! Pour a handful of foals into a pitching machine, step back, and knock them outta the park with your Louisville Slugger! (The author of this guide is not responsible for damaged windshields, but proudly accepts full responsibility for damaged fluffies)

5. Balloon Animals
Are magic tricks not your forte? Do you need a party trick to impress your friends? Balloon animals are a classic! Insert a balloon into a fluffy's anus, inflate said balloon with helium, and you've got one inflatable shitrat! Useful for decorating birthday parties, bar mitzvahs, or any other occasion!

6. Piñata
Everyone loves candy, right? Now that you've got all of those balloons up for your next social gathering, why not make a piñata? A mare is highly recommended for this due to the inclusion of a vagina, which is significantly less disgusting and shit-coated than a fluffy's anus. Reach into the vagina (or ass, it's your call man) and remove anything that may interfere with your candy-stuffing process. This includes foal fetuses, shit, etc. Fill the orifice with sweets (preferably individually wrapped, but again, it's your call I suppose) and stitch it shut to avoid spills. Hang the fluffy up from a tree branch or ceiling (gonna make a mess, but it's still your call) and grab a stick!

7. Sock Method
Been itching to release some aggression in a physical manner? Try this one! It's simple: grab a foal, stuff it into a long sock, and swing it wildly into your surroundings until your Chicago White Sox become Boston Red Sox. If you're really desperate to do this with an adult, it's possible but you'll need a proper bag rather than a sock.

8. Full Body Shutdown
This is for those who enjoy playing the long game. Secure a fluffy in place by whatever means you choose, but the less damage inflicted the better. From here, keep the fluffy awake using whatever means you choose. Blaring loud music, regular slaps with a sorry stick, etc. Depriving the fluffy of food and water is optional, but will be more effective. If you're into long-term psychological torture, keep it fed and watered.

9. Gardening
This method works best with unicorns. Grab the bastard by the neck and smash its horn into its head until it is derped. You can pillow the fluffy before or after derping it, this comes down to preference. From here, bury the fluffy in your backyard like the vegetable it is. Optionally, keep the head exposed. This eco-friendly method will allow the shitrat to become food for birds, insects, or whatever else comes across it.

10. Proper Fluffy Genocide
This method, my absolute favorite, is sure to be a fucking blast! I told you I'd show you a genocide! Turn a spare building into a fully-fledged concentration camp! Board up the windows, securely lock the doors, and put up barbed wire around the place. Turn an extremely small room into a bedroom. Stocked, of course, with very few beds. This isn't a fucking resort, after all. Give them minimal food, water, and sleep. During the day, make them work under the threat of torture and death. No matter how much they say "wan die," they really don't want to die. The work they do can be anything you want. I originally had mine moving cinderblocks from one side of a long room to the other and then back all day, but I've recently started having them run on treadmills I've hooked up to my house. Saves hella money on the electric bill. Hold regular public executions. Don't be novel, be gruesome. Hangings, shootings, and throat slashings work well. Of course, who could forget the gas chambers? They work wonders when it comes to dispatching smarties, derps, or soon-mummahs. Of course, Zyklon-B isn't commercially available. In place, I use homemade mustard gas (combine ammonia and bleach). Wear a gas mask and protective clothing when working with that shit, it's dangerous. That's the point, though. Anyways, this will kill PLENTY of shitrats. Starvation, exhaustion, and executions all in one! Plus, it's so fucking funny watching them do meaningless bullshit all day.
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Comments


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ZaWarudo: This is mine, but I got logged out. Dammit.

- Reply
Jiggery_Niggery: Aye rip
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Anonymous1: hmmmmm, how long do you think it would take to gas 3 million fluffies? Surely longer than a few years......
- Reply
Sorrowkandy: An excellent read.
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ayylmao499: the sock method gave me filthy frank flashbacks

- Reply
ZaWarudo: @Sorrowkandy: Thank you very much! I'm a big fan of your work as well.

- Reply
ZaWarudo: @ayylmao499: That's what I was going for!
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Anonymous2: I love the idea of a fluffy concentration camp

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ZaWarudo: @Anonymous: As do I. Between you and me, I plan to adapt the idea into a fanfic ;)

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ZaWarudo: @Anonymous: As do I. Between you and me, I plan to adapt the idea into a story ;)

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ZaWarudo: @ZaWarudo: well that happened. Double post whoops! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯